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Jill shared a journal entry from a while back…so I thought it was my turn. This was a poem I wrote, randomly. Most of my writing comes out in song lyric or journal entry blog posts…but late at night in July, in 2008, I wrote this poem. xo -kate

Red Like You

Tied down

Wet fists thrown at me

I swallow

Try not to drown

My skin

Handed blue paint to wear

I hide

Close my eyes

But they still win

Because now I’m all black and blue

With the paint they threw

They forced me

They’ll force you too

Now I’m stuck in the painting all blue

When inside I’m red like you

{Friday, July 18th 2008 1:59AM}

Hey guys.

Kate here.

I have a fun story to tell you. Why I’m sharing this on the internet…for all the world to read is beyond me…but I guess that’s kind of my M.O. Just know that ultimate vulnerability is being displayed here…so yeah.

A few weeks ago I noticed a little dry patch of skin under my left ear…kind of on my neck. It’s winter so I just assumed that the dryness of the sahara that was plaguing the rest of my body daily was just a bit of winter showing up on my neck. Nothing to be alarmed about.

So…I went on with my days. And nights. And days. You get the idea.

A couple days ago I was washing my face, brushing my teeth, etc. and noticed the red patch on my skin had now become a circle on my neck. Like a completely round circle. I immediately freaked out and thought perhaps I had some middle-of-the-night rendezvous with a vampire…had Edward Cullen finally found me?  asked Jill to tell me if she saw what I saw. She took one look and told me to get it looked at by professionals.

Enter the awesomeness that is my life: I have weird ailments happen to me. I had an extra muscle in my heart that I had to have surgery on when I was 15, I’ve had E. coli (TWICE), random swelling on my face from an unexplained cause, first degree burns on my eyebrows for a botched waxing, and now, well, this.

I went to bed that night and before I did…I googled. Like we all do. Ugh, why? WHY do we google our ailments? It almost always gives the worst cause scenario…but this time I found my actual diagnosis.

Ringworm. (PS> DO NOT google skin ailments…it will make you pray for a serious concussion to forget the images you see.)

WTF? Who gets ringworm? How did I get ringworm? WHAT THE HECK IS RINGWORM? Will the Dr. confirm my diagnosis? As I fall asleep I hear and see the scene from “Never Been Kissed”  where everyone is chanting “Josie Grossie-Josie Grossie-Josie Grossie” except finding a way to add my name in to the mix.

I made an appointment first thing and the Dr. looked at it for 5 seconds and said, “Yup, it’s ringworm.” She said there aren’t worms in me (THANK GOD) and said that it’s a slight skin fungus (OHHHHHMYYYYGAHHHH?!?!?!). Who get s a skin fungus? I asked her how I got it and she said it’s in the community and it’s just a thing that goes around.  She seemed un-phased by it…which made me feel better. She said  it can be on workout mats at gyms, from animals, etc. She gave me a prescription for a cream and said it would go away. She also said it wasn’t contagious from person to person. Another relief.

Anyway…that’s my story. That’s actually my life. I just get these weird things. Has anyone else gotten this before? I mean, too bad I couldn’t have gotten a tapeworm cause I hear those make you super skinny…here’s to hoping. Just kidding. (winky face)

I’m just all here with ringworm. When I texted Jill to tell her what the Dr. said she texted me the ring emoticon + the worm emoticon. Hahaa. Best friends for the win for making you laugh in the moment.

Okay. Be careful of gym mats, animals and any other known way of contracting ringworm, kind people. Just looking out.

Love me even if I’m gross with ringworm. MMmmmmk thanks. Bye.

xo

-k

Last week I flew to Colorado to take care of my little brothers while my parents were away celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. It was a really nice time to hang with my brothers and sister. My brothers are both 14 so talking to them sometimes involved putting them in a headlock or bribing them with movies and candy, but that’s okay Plus having quality time with just my sister while the boys were at school was fabulous.

The second day I was there I went for a run in my parents’ neighborhood and it was horrid. The hills plus the altitude nearly flattened me…and it was boring. All I could think about was getting it over with.  So, the next day, determined to still get my cardio in, I headed to a place only 15 minutes from my parents house called Garden of the Gods. It was amazing. They have all of these trails and even though it was still hard, running there it felt like an adventure.

The paths would go up and down ravines. It was gorgeous. Changing your perspective is so helpful sometimes. I was still doing the same running, but I felt adventurous and accomplished. At one point when I was in kind of a remote area, I thought about a bear attacking me or some crazy mountain lion & I freaked out a bit which in turn made me run faster. Haha. I didn’t even listen to music…at first just because my Pandora station couldn’t connect because it lost all service…but once it was off I kind of loved it. I could hear myself breathing. I could hear the wind in the trees. It made me feel connected to myself and my surroundings.

There was a point when I came to a hill that was pretty steep for me…but I decided it would be worth it to get to the top to see the view. It was hard. And I thought I was gonna lose a lung. But I made it. And the view was gorgeous and I was thankful I pushed myself up the hill.

Don’t be afraid of the uphill.

There might be something worth huffing it for on the other side.

Below are some pics!

-Kate

*Sometimes my best therapy is just writing. Putting one song on repeat in my ear buds & writing…writing so fast that my fingers feel like independent beings from my body. This is what I did below last night. Today’s repeat song was: “Bridges” by Broods. *

I need sunshine and good news.

I’m tired of the gray, cold, depressing weather. Cause it is really depressing me.

I know that there are cities and countries that have worse winters but I’m talking from my perspective only. I am done with the gray. My soul feels it. It’s heavier with each passing  dreary day. The cold gloom. It’s making me sad on the inside. It feels defeating.

I am gonna be honest…I feel bad typing this. Because in my experience when you live a life known on social media there is only one side of publicized life so sometimes it seems like a slap in the face to say that I’m going through a hard time in the midst of all the awesome things happening in my “life.”

Maybe I shouldn’t type this? Maybe I should just post happy and positive blogs. More sunset pictures.

But that’s never been me.

Maybe a contributing factor to why I’m feeling down is because I committed to a 30 day super restricted eating plan…and I should know better…I DO NOT do well on those. But who does? The first week was fine. Second week decent. This third week feels like hauling each foot through wet cement. I mean, no sugar, no carbs, no starch, not even fruit 6 days a week…thank goodness for the “fun day” on day #7…or else I would no longer be functioning or I would have murdered someone I also have been wayyyyyy more emotional isn’t that fun…i.e. I cry about every 3rd hour or so. I can most of the time laugh at myself which is a positive I guess…but even that…I’ve been sooooo sensitive lately. Yeesh. The upside is…I’m proud that I’m doing something that has required such self-discipline.  But let’s be honest…Kate thrives on sugar and bread…I lived on a carb only diet for quite some time…that’s more my “normal.”

Yesterday I asked if the writers of the song “I want candy” were on a restricted eating plan when they wrote it? Because that song has been on repeat in my head a lot. Haha.

Also, this season has been an extremely busy one. And when things get busy they can also get hella stressful…which I try and do my best to not be stressed but still…Jill and I are kinda doing this music thing on our own. Well, that’s only partly true, we have a few people who help us almost daily and without them we would be just sitting in our house, writing music and playing it for the walls. So…I am extremely thankful for them. And our parents…they are 100% sold on us doing this crazy music thing. They really believe all of the hard work will pay off.  But man, sometimes it’s scary thinking about all we have to do, all of the opportunities we’re given, all of the responsibility we carry….we are independent artists doing it full time. Meaning, it’s all on us. There are pluses and minuses and for whatever reason we are on this specific journey for a reason.

I sometimes forget that I am still chasing a dream and it’s scary as hell sometimes.

Even as I write this blog I laugh cause “blogging” is taking a nose dive right now. Apparently blogging isn’t as popular as it once was. Blogs should be short and concise….to the point. I’m certainly nailing that aren’t I? Haha

I know I should end this blog  with a big, long paragraph about how I appreciate you…the reader, the fan…but I hope you know that already and I hope I have the freedom to be honest with my rant…my gloomy, dark days.

xo

-kate

So…since it’s Sunday & pop culture has deemed it #selfiesunday I decided I would scroll through my iPhoto & see what pics I never posted from this year

Get ready for Kate’s face in 2013….

London baby!

One of my friends at the Houses of Hope Africa

Blurry pic (and not a selfie) of Ryan, Jill and my dad in the elephant museum in Kruger Park, South Africa.

Special Zoo souvenir cup…boy that thing comes in handy.

Got some new black rimmed glasses. Love them.

Trying on dresses for a “Downton Abbey” themed party…YOU ARE WELCOME FOR THIS PIC YOU GUYS!!

At the said party (not in pink dress) with my fabulous friend Kennedy.

If I had to pick a last meal…this would be it. No, both of those fries were not mine…but yes, they were animal style.

Little brothers flew to Nash to spend their Spring Break with their big sis.

Not a selfie but this was starting our first ever j&k5k…SO FUN!

Hanging with my favorite little baby.

Early morning. Beauty and the Beast mug…enough said.

Sunglasses.

Mischief in the Chipotle cup.

My favorite Nico.

Florida.

Getting my hair did for our video shoot!

My dad brought me these earrings from one of his trips to Africa.

Big scary hair, don’t care.

Starbucks.

My favorite selfie with a Swede.

Enjoying a rusk with my coffee…another treat my dad brought me from South Africa.

Veggie straw car boredom.

I don’t even know.

Sun roof.

Really wrinkled shirt. Sorry Tony, I didn’t bust out the iron.

Wanna-be 1940′s hair & make-up.

Dreaming.

Drinking from my very cool Amber Sweeney mug.

Fancy ballet selfie with the brothers.

Cocktail hour.

Ugly sweater run.

My mom bought my whole family flannel shirts. And yes I was in a hallway and yes the toilet photo-bombed my pic.

Well folks, there you have it. A lot of unnecessary pics of me.

I decided I take a lot of pics in the car and while drinking things. Weird.

And if you don’t know…now you know

2 days left in 2013. Who’s excited about 2014? I AM.

BIG. FUN. EXCITING things.

xoxo